先日、福岡へ琵琶説教に参りました。九州でのお説教は初めてで、気質がわからず緊張しましたが、修行時代の同期の寺院でしたので、安心して溶け込むことができました。
当日、佐賀からも同期が駆けつけてくれました。やはり 同じ釜の飯を食べた仲間は良いものです。20年以上ご縁がありませんでしたが、すぐに当時の3人に戻りました。皆、体型は一回り、いや、2回り大きくなりましたが(笑)、本質の部分は変わりません。40代になると 叱られることが少なくなりますが、昔の仲間は本音を語ってくれ、ハッと気付かされることが 多々ありました。
グーグル、モルガン・スタンレーで人材開発を務めてきたピョートル氏のお話です。
英語の「ナイス(nice)」と「カインド(kind)」は、どちらも「優しさ」を表しますが、意味するところは違います。いつもニコニコ笑って人当たりがいいのは、「ナイス」な人です。しかし、ニコニコ笑っているだけで、もしかしたら僕が目の前でコーヒーを何十杯飲んでいても、何も言わないかもしれません。「ナイス」な人は「いい人」かもしれませんが、「当たり障りのない人」「どうでもいい人」でもあります。一方、「カインド」な人は、僕がコーヒーを飲みすぎていたら、「ピョートルさん、コーヒー飲みすぎじゃない?」と言ってくれます。見て見ぬフリをするのではなく、相手のことをよく見て、相手のためになることをアドバイスする。「カインド」な人は相手のためを思って行動する「親切な人」です。リーダーシップの「優しさ」は、「ナイス」ではなく、「カインド」の「優しさ」です。親は子供に優しく接する。店員さんはお客さんに優しく接する。恋人同士、友達同士でも優しく接する。「優しさ」は相手との信頼関係を築く最初のステップです。 (『0秒リーダーシップ』 すばる舎)
私は ” 優しい坊さん ” と評されることが多いです。それは どちらかと言えば、人の良い面を見て、優しい言葉をかける「 ナイスな存在 」 だったのかも知れません。しかし、僧侶生活も20年が過ぎ、これから求められるのは、本質を突く優しさ(カインドな存在)なのかも知れません。この旅で、今後の人生にとって 大切なことを再認識させていただきました。ご接待くださった有縁の皆様、誠に有り難うございました。アンコールをいただいたので、また参らせていただきます!感謝
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