先日、親族の３回忌法要参列のため、岐阜へ行ってきました。祖母せつ の実家が善教寺という古刹で、祖母の弟、前住職・良戒上人の法事でした。法要後、琵琶説教をさせて頂きましたが、私を幼い頃から知る方々の前での法話は不思議な気分でした。まさに諸行無常です。良戒上人は 僧侶であり、教育者でもありました。今回もお育ていただいてるんだなぁ … と感謝の心でいっぱいです。
善教寺本堂 祖父母は岐阜の出身。金森宗和や落語の 開祖・安樂庵策伝も岐阜出身の金森性。 縁を感じます。
師は いつもニコニコ、何事にも動じず、穏やかに過ごされた印象があります。目標は、この器が広い良戒師の境地です。現在の私は予定に追われ、心身の余裕がありません。「器が大きい人」って何なのかなぁ … と考えた時、それは 他の物を受け入れる「余白」「余裕」がある人だと思います。器が小さい人というのは、今あるもので精いっぱい、器の中がギッシリ埋まっていて「余白」「余裕」がない状態の人ではないでしょうか。勤めや評判、重責に追われ、地に足が着いていないのかもしれません。 余裕がある時に 人は優しくなれます。それが器なのだと存じます。
ひすいこたろう氏の著書からです。
２匹の狼が闘っている。１匹の狼は恐れ、怒り、嫉妬、哀しみ、後悔、欲、傲慢、自己憐憫（じこれんびん）、罪悪感、恨み、劣等感、そしてエゴの象徴。もう１匹は、喜び、平和、愛、希望、分かち合い、安らかさ、謙虚さ、親切、友情、共感、寛大さ、真理、思いやり、そして信頼の象徴。この２匹が闘っている。ひとりの子どもがおじいさんに尋ねます。「Which wolf will win?」（どっちの狼が勝つの？）おじいさんは答えた。「The one you feed」（君が育てるほうだよ）。『あなたの人生がつまらないと思うんなら、それはあなた自身がつまらなくしているんだぜ。』（ディスカヴァー）
「君が育てるほうが勝つ」・・・結局、人生は自分で選択しているのです。 好きだと思えば好きになるし、嫌いだと思えば嫌いになる。 簡単だと思えば簡単だし、難しいと思えば難しくなる。イライラすることも、落ち着くことも … そのどちらも自分で選択できるのです。つまり 我欲を いったん置き、真理に沿って歩むことができれば、良戒師のように いつもニコニコ、何事にも動じず、穏やかに過ごせるのだと存じます。余分なエゴ（恐れ、怒り、嫉妬、哀しみ、後悔、欲、傲慢、自己憐憫、罪悪感、恨み、劣等感）が「余白」「余裕」をなくし、器を小さくしてるのです。さすれば、常に 信頼（喜び、平和、愛、希望、分かち合い、安らかさ、謙虚さ、親切、友情、共感、寛大さ、真理、思いやり）に心の針を向け、仏や先祖が喜ぶ 器作りに励みたいと思いました。一歩づつ頑張ります。良戒さま、祖父母と一緒に極楽から見守って下さい。合掌
善教寺庭園 眺めていると心に余白、余裕ができそうです。
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